More Rejected Tea Bar Flavours

• HomeopaTEA: There was tea in the cup once. I'm pretty sure now you're just drinking hot water.
• MisTEA: A strong scented tea with hints of flowers and berries. Made from 100% English fog.
• ProperTEA: A stiff country English black tea with a strong, hard flavour foundation. Strata rates not included in price.
• GolfTEA: A long white tea with a yeasty linger or a shorter red tea if you are a women. Tastes like a wasted afternoon with one part bug repellent, and one part tweed.
• MinTEA: Whats this gooey white crap in the bottom of my cup?
• InfirmiTEA: A green tea, laced with laxitives and tranquilisers. Deeply relaxing.
• NasTEA: Incredibly expensive tea which has been specially prepared by feeding it to a specific breed of cow only found in the highlands of Tibet. The digestive action of the cows nine stomachs gently tenderises and mellows the flavour of the tea, resulting in a rich earthy flavour.
• WitTEA: A fruity tea made with pages of the original complete works of Oscar Wilde. It declares nothing but brilliance.
• GoaTEA: A black tea, with added hair, that tends to get stuck all over your face when you attempt to drink it.
• DepraviTEA: Left to age in the drying sun, with chilli and pepper, this tea is made from the souls of tea pickers of old with a blend of oolong. This tea is best brewed at 75 degrees C, but was boiled as an effigy by the Occupy Wall Street protesters. Best enjoyed with milk.
• DeformaTEA: An unusual tea, from a particularly pest ridden area. Strong pesticides are used to return a decent yield, resulting in a unique, but pleasing taste. A flavour that will be surely remembered for many generations to come.